Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
