dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
