are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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