Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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