Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
