You made me cry and you don't even care
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
