So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
