you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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