sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
