I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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