its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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