4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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