I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
