You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
