i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
