I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
