I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
