just tell him i said nine months
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
