I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
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