Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Randomize
