I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
