If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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