I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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