He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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