He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
how drunk are you?
Several
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
