I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
