Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize