"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
