just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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