Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize