I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
