no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
