what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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