I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
