I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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