we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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