That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
There are leaves in my underwear?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
