I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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