So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
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