just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Randomize
