there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
