I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
