I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
there is puke in my bra ... again
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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