I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
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