1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
