i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
worst night to have a conscience
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
