I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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