i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Randomize
