can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
