Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
