i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
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