And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
