then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
