Are we in a gay sports bar?
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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