So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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