I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
