i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
