FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
