I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
