So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize