The maid of honor just puked.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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