i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
