Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
just found out that she named her cat after me.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
