you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
