i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
