I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
