Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
