I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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