Did you just see the Batmobile???
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Randomize
