he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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