ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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