I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
