Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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