Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize