yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
