Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I'm passing your future prison.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
