Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Randomize
